That rectangle shape

     That awkward thing you have to do to get the blanket in the right way.
  
       During my childhood, I fondly remember, I found it strange that there was a shoe specifically designed for each foot. Why couldn't the left shoe fit on the right foot?  Gradually, I started thinking about other things too. And realised that many things don't make sense.

       For one, beds are usually shaped like rectangles. Why must sheets and blankets be shaped this way too? Maybe it looks better? But I guess blanket designers need to keep in mind he benefit of the person, not the bed.

       Suppose it's a cold night and wake up feeling cold in your legs. You try to cover the whole body by adjusting the blanket over your legs. Now you do a kick-thing to get it the correct way. So why can't have be square-shaped or even circular blankets? It would be worth it.

       

The World seriously needs a Superman

 

The very idea of having a Superman to save the world may be Utopian. Hence, it becomes a bit difficult to judge the reason for having him. And it becomes even more difficult to answer ‘why we need him?’.

But for once, only once, lets try and think that Superman is real.
That there really is a person out there, wearing a blue-red attire with his ‘S’ signature, who flies high in the infinite, tearing the wind with his whetted, muscular body. A man who has the extra-ordinary power of resisting anything. A not-so-ordinary man who, with his powers, can rotate the earth in the opposite direction just so that he can bring things back to normal. Go to the past, and change it. The bullet when hits his eyes, turns into a mere metal plate, worth nothing.
Fascinating but, unreal. Imaginary.

But, a Superman need not look and be the same for all. He need not have the power to stop a plane from crashing neither does he need to have the power to swiftly cut the wind to reach the little but huge globe falling, due to the earthquake, to save a hundred lives.





Your Superman, need save only YOUR life. And when every person has their own Superman, we’re all gonna be safe. We’re all gonna be loved by him and he’ll be loved by us.



My Superman doesn’t have the power to turn the globe around in order to change the bad of the past. But, I know that he HAS the ability to pull me out of the fast running stream while I’m drowning; help me escape a building that has caught fire; and protect me from almost every evil on this earth, without even thinking about his own life.

My Superman is my Dad. And I have complete and utter faith in him. I know that he’ll rescue me each time I’m in trouble.

I’m sure everyone of us have their own Superman. We only need to trust him and realise his value

So, who’s your Superman?

Fun with telemarketers

“Hello, this is – “

“IS THAT YOU?” (sounding excited).  “I’ve been waiting so long for your call.  I got the body chopped up and stuffed in the bag like you told me – now what?”

Wait for the long silence.

Then have fun with them.  Try to convince them they need to help you hide this body. Give suggestions (“There’s a swamp nearby,” you can say kinda thoughtfully.”).  When things get too serious – or they are suggesting you call the cops, tell them: “But it’s one of THEM!  He told me to do it.”  Make up some story about blackmail from a county commissioner; or that you did a ‘hired hit’ – not as a professional – and now you got this body. In a bag.

Or do what my mom did:

“OH MY GOD!” She cried.  “HOW CAN YOU CALL ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS!  MY HUSBAND JUST DIED!  HE’S LAYING ON THE FLOOR RIGHT THERE!  THE AMBULANCE HASN’T EVEN COME!”  And then go into a screaming crying raging fit, trying to elicit as much sympathy – and instill as much guilt for calling her at this time – as humanly possible.

And then you can take it two ways.
1) Ask them if they are selling a life insurance policy. You need one now that your husband died.  And yeah – you wanna take it out on him.  (You can even play the ‘blame game’ – claim you were doing CPR and stopped to take the call, thinking it was the ambulance – and now HE’S DEAD! (cry).
2) Suddenly stop, and in a casual way, become interested in buying their product – whatever it is they’re selling.

and then there’s this one:

“shhhh!” you say quietly the moment you realize who it is.  “There’s a man/stranger in my house. I think he wants to kill me.”  And then go on to tell the telemarketer she/he needs to call 911 – and no, you won’t hang up, you want someone to talk to while this is going on – and occasionally stop to say ‘hush!’ while pretending to listen around.  Then somewhere along the line (before things get TOO serious) – SHRIEK! (real loud, right into the phone) – scream, bang the phone on the counter or floor (but not TOO hard – it’s easy to ‘get into the moment’ and get into the role of this kind of thing – but you don’t wanna be buying a new phone as a result.  That is NOT too funny.)

Then you can either:
a) long silence.  Then do a man’s heavy breathing into the phone. Then hang up.
b) Just let the phone lay around until THEY hang up.

Then be prepared to handle the cops.

Remember: Denial is everything. You don’t know what they are talking about; it must be somebody playing a prank.  Deny, deny, deny.  Give a soft laugh.  Encourage them ‘in’.  If they’ve found ‘evidence’ (e.g. a phone record) – it must be a wrong number.

Liar liar pants on fire, he’s the one who runs as a free man. 

Have fun with them.  I do.  Nothing better on a cloudy rainy day . . . when ‘they’ make the mistake of calling me – and I decide to have some evil fun. (evil grin!)

’nuff said.